Prongs and Padfoots notes
by destiny-hope-975
Summary: What happens when Professor McGonagall orders Sirius and James to read the notes they had been slipping to each other in class out loud? Lily and Remus die of humiliation, thats what. Lily/James, Sirius/Remus


"Black! Potter! How many times must I tell you? You are not, I repeat NOT, to pass notes in my class!" Professor McGonagall screeched, looking deranged as she stood there, the humidity causing her hair to frizz and sweat to gather on her brow.

Her glare made everyone in the class shrink back into their seats ... except for Sirius Black and James Potter.

Sirius was balancing on the back legs of his chair, his arms resting behind his head and long hair falling into his face delectably as he grinned at the frazzled Professor. James looked on the verge of laughter as he rested his elbows on the desk and chin on his fists, his hazel eyes widened innocently as he smiled amusedly up at McGonagall.

She gave an irritated huff.

"I dream of the day when the two of you leave Hogwarts" She announced.

"Minnie, if you wanted privacy so you could put those whips and shackles to good use with Filch," Sirius grinned wickedly, "I know of many places that are available for the surely loud and insistent shagging of you and our fellow caretaker, you naughty minx, you!"

McGonagall turned dangerously red, from embarrassment or anger no one knew. She was shaking slightly and her bottom lip trembled as she spoke.

"Your concern for me is touching Black" she drawled, the words dripping with sarcasm, "You never fail to amuse me."

Sirius grinned charmingly and half the girls in the class swooned. "I aim to please," he winked.

"I would be _pleased_ if you and your counterpart Potter refrained from passing notes in my class," she sharply replied.

"But the matter at hand!" Sirius gasped dramatically as James tried and failed to hide a snicker. "It is grave," he announced in a somber tone, "so very, _very_ grave."

"Yes, the gravity!" James exclaimed sarcastically, throwing his hands in the air as he gave Sirius a half exasperated, half amused look.

"The horrors we discussed Minnie, They would chill you to the bone," Sirius said very seriously, looking his, not-at-all amused Professor in the eye, she glared back.

James collapsed in convulsions of laughter, banging his fist on the desk and gasping to himself, 'the horrors!'

McGonagall turned her stern gaze to him, "What is so amusing Potter?" she angrily snapped, "That you feel the need to laugh yourself horse in my class, while I try to teach?"

James raised his slightly watering eyes to her but as soon as he made direct eye contact he collapsed into fits of laughter once again.

"Give me this parchment Black," McGonagall ordered after watching the be-speckled boy with a troubled look for a long moment.

Sirius started laughing to now too, "You - you're going to - to read it?" he gasped out questioningly, looking her in the eye and trying to determine wether she was serious of not.

"No" she agreed, eying the class for a volunteer. Not finding anyone who she hated enough to put through that torture she settled on-

"Black and Potter!" she called and their laughter ceased nearly immediately at the tone she was using, it was wicked and smug and utterly _devious_.

"You will read the contents of this parchment to the whole class. I expect no random bouts of laughter-" she looked accusingly at James, "and no lewd comments," she looked at Sirius who raised a sardonic eyebrow, as if affronted by the very idea.

Lily Evans and Professor McGonagall gave identical sighs.

The boys seemed unfazed by her warning as they smiled identically and made their way to the front of the classroom, the notes held in Sirius elegant hand.

When they reached the front of the classroom James slid onto McGonagall's desk, pushing her belongings to one side nonchalantly while Sirius took a seat in McGonagall's chair and put his feet up next to James.

McGonagall had her lips pursed but seemed to have given up trying to reprimand them so she settled for a long-suffering sigh, looking upwards to the celling with an antagonized expression on her face.

Sirius muttered a charm and with a flick of his wand he had duplicated the notes. He passed one copy to James and they shared a grin before both looking at Remus with identical expressions of mischief on their faces.

Remus gulped nervously.

McGonagall motioned for the boys to continue but Sirius had barely opened his mouth before Lily interrupted. Rising from her seat she pointed her willow wand at the boys and clearly pronounced the incantation for an honesty charm. A bluish light floated out of the wand and into the boys mouths where they went to swallow, only to find the mist wasn't tangible and had seeped through their skin.

Satisfied with her work, Lily sat back down and McGonagall nodded appraisingly before looking back at the boys, "Continue" she ordered, finally regaining her strictness.

Sirius grinned at Remus as he spoke, "Oii Prongs" he stage whispered as Lily and Remus rolled there eyes simultaneously, the same thought running through both their heads 'so immature...'

"Padfoot?" James stage whispered back.

"Remind me why we are dating these two berks?" Lily whispered to Remus, who she was sitting next to.

"Because we love them," Remus instantly replied, his eyes not leaving the two dark haired boys.

Identical, fond and blissful smiles made their way on to Remus and Lilys faces at the reminder.

"Do you know where me and Moony's lube is?"

Remus groaned and banged his head on the desk while Lily patted him sympathetically on the back. Ignoring McGonagall's horrified look Sirius grinned and continued, "Not that I mind using my tongue, the sounds he makes when I am rimming him are fucking hot!"

The whole class blushed along with Remus and McGonagall rubbed her temple in distress.

"You did not write that to Prongs!" Remus said, looking at his boyfriend incredelously.

"I so did."

"Fuck Paddy! I don't want to hear about you corrupting our innocent, virginial Moony!" James shrieked'rather girlishly.

"You wouldn't call him 'innocent' and 'virginial' if you saw him on Saturday night! He fucking spanked me because I was trying to 'molest' him in the library earlier! Then he deep-throated me and I saw fucking stars..." Sirius had not the slightest hint of embarrassment as he looked at the class who were staring back at him with looks or horror, and in many instances lust...

"You would see stars..." James started, "Considering when you were drunk you used a muggle marker to draw them... ALL OVER THE ROOF!" James yelled the last part angrily but his grin betrayed his real emotions.

"Good night that one..." Sirius looked wickedly at Lily, "Remember the morning after, I walked into the bathroom to find you and Lily Pad fucking over the sink."

Lily joined Remus in the head banging as they listened to their boyfriends tell the class about their sexual escapades.

"Good morning that, we were still a bit hung over but, so it was impossible to get the condom on..." James let out a sigh and Lily blushed beetroot.

"I don't think we left the dorms that whole day. Thank Merlin our boyfriends...or girlfriends are smart and they found that charm where a solid wall can be built to split the dorm... It's a bit of a turn off when I hear Lily Flower moaning as I get a bloody blow job!"

Lily gave Sirius the finger and he blew her a kiss back. She caught on her palm and then proceeded to conjure blue flames where the 'kiss' was. Sirius gave her a wounded-puppy look and she smirked.

"Yes, because I just love hearing how much of a 'beast' Moony is and 'how fucking great it feels to have your cock in my arse!'" James used air quotation marks as he grinned evilly at Remus.

"But Moonykins sounds so hot when he talks dirty..." Sirius wined while Remus blushed and hid his face in his palms.

"Sure he does Pads..." James agreed with an eye-roll.

"We need to stop siting behind them Antler Boy." Sirius exclaimed in distress, catching the whole class of guard with the sudden change of emotions.

"Antler Boy? Antler fucking Boy are you kidding me Pads? What in Merlins name have you been smoking?" James asked incredulously.

"Fine... I will call you DaaDn DaaDn DaaDn-"

"You did NOT write, 'DaaDn DaaDn DaaDn' on the notes..." Lils sounded scared for Sirius's sanity.

"I Did! Now CONTINUING! DaaDn DaaDn DaaDn, I will call you...Prongs!" Sirius exclaimed.

"That is so fucking sad Padfoot..." James laughed.

"But back to the matter at hand! We need to stop siting behind them!" Sirius said desperately.

"...Why?" James asked, "I quite like the view of Lily's arse when she bends forward to write...and her hair looks so pretty in the sunlight..." James trailed of dreamily.

"Ok Lover-boy, thats all fine and dandy but getting a fricking hard-on in class because Moony has decided he was getting 'flustered' and needed to loosen his tie teasingly, or he was 'hot' and needed to unbutton the top of his shirt, or he was 'nervous' so he needed to tense his back muscles deliciously, or he was 'aggravated' so he needed to run his hand through his hair sexily, or he was 'bored' so he would need to look out the window with a cute glazed expression, or he was feeling 'stiff' so he needed to stretch his arms so his shirt would ride up tantalizingly, or he was 'distracted' so he needed to suck on his sugar quill proactively, or he was feeling 'sore' so he would need to groan life a fucking sex-god, or he was-" Sirius's speech cut of abruptly and he gave James a glare, apparently annoyed at him for stopping him from his ramblings.

Meanwhile Remus was looking at Sirius with something akin to awe and astonishment, and were his eyes watering?

Many of the girls in the class were awwing while Lily looked at Remus tenderly, "He really loves you..." she whispered gently in his ear.

Remus nodded back slowly. "I know."

"I'm the lover-boy?" James's affronted voice cut across the tender moment. "You just wrote a fucking paragraph on how Moony is so bloody adorable and I'm the lover-boy? Sure..." James said sarcastically.

"And I could write a million more," Sirius replied, looking at Remus with a breathtakingly sincere smile.

"The cheesiness continues!" James declared, "And here I was thinking that Wormy loved cheese the most but Pads has proven me wrong! His love for dearest Moonykins has won us all over!" James announced in a show-host voice.

"You so can't talk Prongs. Every second sentence was about Lily Flower-"

"When will these pet-names stop!" Lily groaned.

"-Before she started dating you...and now every second minute is spent with her..." Sirius finished, ignoring Lilys interruption.

"What can I say?" James sighed dramatically, "Potter men have got to have their redheads...its a curse that has been among us for centuries!"

"Mums more grey than red now..." Sirius laughed.

"True, true... I'm proud to say I was the reason for many of those grey's, and since you came along... Well I think she is loosing hair now!" James laughed.

"I take offense to that! Mum loves me!" Sirius cried out, throwing one hand over his heart.

"Yes, I don't know why but. You're a right nuisance to live with. Waking up earlier than me so you can get the best bits of bacon and telling my parents about Lil's! They think I stalk her now!"

"You did but..." Sirius smirked.

"Shut it!" James laughed. "What about you! Mr 'I watch Moony sleep and purposely steel the towels so he has to walk out naked! Not to mention always dropping shit so he bends down while you shamelessly stare at his arse!"

Remus glared at his boyfriend while Lily, along with the rest of the class snickered.

"Its a godly arse ok!" Sirius defended while winking lewdly at Remus who blushed in reply.

"Merlins beard! Did you see that Pads!" James exclaimed.

"What?"

"Lily! She just bent over and - wait... You better not have seen that!" James said, eying Sirius warily.

"See what?" Sirius asked cluelessly.

"I guess I can tell you..." James said slowly.

Meanwhile Lily was busy muttering 'no no no no...' repeatedly under her breath.

"Considering you are not into girls, like that." James continued. "Lils bend forward right, purposely pushing her arse out and her skirt slipped down to reveal a black, fucking lacy thong! So there I am, probably drooling or some shit and she turns around and winks at me and her shirt is like, half undone so when she turns her arm pushes her tits together and Ohh My Fucking God, Instant boner!" James didn't bat an eyelid as he reread all this, not embarrassed in the least.

The same could not be said for Lily.

"Sucked in mate! Now we both have hard-ons in Minnie's class and knowing Lily she will keep you hanging all day while Remus will happily suck me off In a broom-cupboard! I love my boyfriend!" Sirius cheered.

Remus rolled his eyes but didn't deny it.

"Thats the end of our notes Minnie!" Sirius declared only to find the door open and the place where Professor McGonagall was previously standing empty.

"So, she just left?" James asked, looking baffled, 'Minnie NEVER leaves us three Marauders (Peter didn't make it into NEWTS Transfiguration) in a classroom unsupervised.

"We get let out early!" Sirius cheered a split-second later, his face lighting up with a brilliant, toothy smile.

Jumping off McGonagall's chair, he ran to Remus and threw his arms around him, mumbling a quick but sincere apology for any embarrassment caused into the werwolf neck.

Remus smiled into Sirius's silky hair, to dazed by the feel of Sirius's body pressed so firmly against his own to form a coherent sentence. He could feel every contour of the taller boy, including that glorious hard-on pressing deliciously into his hip, a moan escaped his lips as he temporarily forgot he was in a classroom full of quickly exiting classmates.

Looking over Sirius shoulder he saw James still sitting on McGonagall's table. Lily was straddling him with her arms looped around his neck as he held her hips firmly. They were locked in a rather passionate game of tonsil hickey.

Remus felt Sirius's stare on his face and looked up into his boyfriends silver-grey eyes curiously and a bit self consciously.

Sirius smiled dazzlingly and Remus felt like he was looking into a brilliant ray of sunlight that was beaming down on him with adoration and love.

Life was perfect...


End file.
